RedFingerFish

84,457 notes

leonibuki:


so this is an thing that happened ?? this is my family picture (im the one of the far right btw)
it got posted on both 9gag and also reddit by an unknown weirdo who probably got it from my sister’s fb
but don’t worry though we actually have no problem with this at all ! reading the comments has been the funniest thing ever so keep it up

leonibuki:

so this is an thing that happened ?? this is my family picture (im the one of the far right btw)

it got posted on both 9gag and also reddit by an unknown weirdo who probably got it from my sister’s fb

but don’t worry though we actually have no problem with this at all ! reading the comments has been the funniest thing ever so keep it up

(via fuckyeahhdinosaurs)

8,767 notes

abaffledkyogre:

cumslayer:

cumslayer:

So I went on a date today and we went to a nice restaurant before going to the movies and I ordered the “iced grape popsicles” for dessert because I love grape Popsicles so why not right?…..so the waiter brings out the “iced grape popsicles” aND THEY WERE LITERALLY 3 FROZEN GRAPES ON STICKS…..I HAVE NEVER BEEN MORE OFFENDED IN MY LIFE…SINCE WHEN ARE 3 FUCKING FROZEN GRAPES IN A FUCKING VASE AN ACCEPTABLE SINGLE DESSERT ORDER..ITS NOT EVEN FROZEN GRAPE JUICE OR SOMETHING ITS LITERALLY JUST A 0.02$ GRAPE THAT WAS PUT ON A STICK THEN FROZEN…LIKE SOMEONE ACTUALLY WROTE THIS DOWN ON THE MENU THINKING “OH YEAH PEOPLE FUCKING LOVE COLD GRAPES” AND SOME OTHER ASSHAT SAID “BRAH. HEAR ME OUT, HOW ABOUT WE PUT THEM ON STICKS AND SERVE THEM IN A VASE WITH NOTHING ELSE” LIKE YOU COULDNT EVEN SERVE IT WITH A FUCKING SECOND FRUIT OR EVEN FUCKING LEAVES OR WHATEVER… IM SO MAD. FUCKING FROZEN GRAPES ON A STICK.

AND THEY WERENT EVEN SEEDLESS GRAPES…..

Ohmygod

(via letsseeifwecanfindmoredeposits)

1,970 notes

Person:
Hi, do you want pizza?
Person Nobody Likes:
No. I'm being healthy. I'm not eating pizza because...
Everyone:
Okay.
Person Nobody Likes:
It looks so good, but the calories--
Everyone:
Okay.
Person Nobody Likes:
...and the fat--
Everyone:
Okay.
Person Nobody Likes:
Here's a long explanation of my diet...
Everyone:
Person Nobody Likes:
But I wish I could cheat LOL!
Everyone:
Person Nobody Likes:
That stuff is so bad for you, you know? But you have fun!
Everyone who has left to go live their lives:
Person Nobody Likes:
It's the gluten, you know? I don't know what that is, but it's soooooo baaaaaad.
Crickets who have come out because it's midnight now:
Person Nobody Likes:
I cheated and ate an M&M yesterday! I spent an hour at the gym to make up for it but so worth it LOL.
Unfeeling universe:
Person Nobody Likes:
Have you tried using cauliflower instead of bread to make a pizza?
Existential dread:
Person Nobody Likes:
It tastes exactly the same, and it's sooooo much healthier.
Death itself:
Person Nobody Likes:
I'm gonna go drink my soy smoothie now.
Person Nobody Likes:
It's a small size.
Person Nobody Likes:
Gotta watch my thighs!
Apocalypse, the end of all space and time as we know it, the fathomless void of nothingness:
Person Nobody Likes:
BUT YOU ENJOY THAT PIZZA, FRIEND.